She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't deserve a penis
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that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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