Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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