so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
