oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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