Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
