its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
ttyl tear gas
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize