I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
