some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize