Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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