Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
