i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just sucked dick on a ferry
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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