when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
