i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize