me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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