i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
