We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
