U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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