Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
