Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
