Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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