Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
