I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just blew my weed a kiss
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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