made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
