my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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