I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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