I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
