why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
