You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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