some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
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It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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