Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
