he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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