yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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