sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
