how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize