I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
