you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
