Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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