I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How naked do you want me to be?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
