Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
