Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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