if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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