And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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