I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
