He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
