Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize