So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
