She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
