FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
