i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
