I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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