piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
