He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
