garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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