I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
