So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
