Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize