First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
