i wish peter jackson would direct porn
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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