I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
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I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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