omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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