And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
