If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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