The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
