I think my vagina is haunted
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
