Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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